Kawan sampai kahwin

Hujung minggu lepas, a neighbour of my friends' room nikah. Well, she's a senior obviously. A health science student. Siap jemput datang Walimah dia. The best part is, akak tu cerita macam mana dia boleh setuju nak kahwin dengan husband dia.

Their first meeting was during kenduri kahwin abang kepada akak tu. So senang cerita, husband dia tu a friend of her brother. Just kenal kenal macam tu, as a sister of the groom masa tu. Till one day, the husband tanya kawan dia tu, (a.k.a abang kepada akak tu) pasal nama and some basic details about her. Dah alang-alang tu, get her phone number terus lah kan. Hahaha.

Perkenalan yang ringkas dan mudah. Send sms kepada akak tu dan terus introduce nama dan a few basic details yang penting. The husband dah kerja. Means, he's stable economically. Well, that's a quite important thing that most women will look up to in finding a spouse. Haha. But it depends. I said, depends on the situation and their personal preferences.

Apa yang menariknya, akak tu quite garang dan sangat straight to the point (mungkin tegas). The husband adalah bertanya,

"Boleh tak nak kawan dengan awak?"

So she replied,

"Awak kalau nak kawan dengan saya, biar kawan sampai kahwin. Hope it's not for fun. I have parents. Please respect me and my parents"

The husband really take some times and proceed with a proper 'friendship'. Jumpa parents akak tu and inform the parents pasal dia tak main main dengan relationship ni.

In a month or two, terus bertunang, followed by their nikah and solemnization a month later.

So siapa kata a 'friendship' yang dibina perlu lama sebelum berkahwin. Tempoh suai kenal tak semestinya perlu bertahun tahun sebab we would never really understand someone through years. It takes time, a lot. And people change. We can't expect them to be just the same from the first time we knew them. Lepas kahwin boleh kenal spouse dengan lebih rapat lagi.

Apa yang penting, komitmen. If you really want it, go for it. Put the very best effort and perbaiki diri dengan sebaiknya. Lengkapkan amalan yang wajib, persiapkan diri mentally, spiritually dan semuanya because married once, marriage is forever. What I can say is, the husband sangat berani dan sanggup beri komitmen in the relationship. It's not for the sake of having fun around girls. Anak dara orang tu, molek sikit. That's how to treat women respectfully. Jangan main main.

Bukan nak kata apa, kids nowadays memang lagi advance kalau bab relationship ni. Relationship goals lah, being hot couples are NOT GORGEOUS AT ALL I TOLD YOU. Nak buat apa semua tu? For FUN.

Sometimes, it's not really jadi couple pun. Just enough to know that you guys are actually love each other konon kononnya. How do we really know that? Harini boleh cakap suka, boleh kata sayang. Esok lusa boleh kata benci. Harom nak jumpa dah lepas tu. Cakap bukan main. Sembang sana sini suka orang tu orang ni. Suka tu fitrah. Tapi bila disalahguna, ada yang merana. Perempuan gais, lelaki senyum sikit je pun terkadang boleh jatuh suka. Bagi makanan, bagi ubat pun, perempuan boleh jatuh suka. Atas alasan kononnya nampak si dia tu caring sangat. Mungkin realitinya, he treat the other person the same way macam mana si perempuan tu dapat. It's not that special anyway.

I have this one friend. A guy of course. He told me that it's such a great thing, a great pleasure to be with powerful girls, cute girls, beautiful girls, and all the wow thing about the most attractive girls, getting close to them, hang out with them and boleh bersembang mesra dengan mereka. Siapa je tak suka? Ni yang dikatakan jenis yang melayan tak tentu hala. Perempuan pun mesti rasa bertuah dapat kenal jejaka kacak kan?

Apa yang penting, jaga hati. Kalau tak mampu untuk kawal, jauhkan diri. Macam mana? When you start getting close to someone dan mula rasa bibit cinta bermula, fikir banyak kali. It is whether you can proceed with a serious relationship, bersedia dengan memberi komitmen dalam semua aspek dan berkahwin ATAU leave it if tak mampu nak proceed dan tak mampu nak persiapkan diri sebaiknya. Don't give more hopes and promises. It really hurts. To leave it memang sakit. But how do I say this? When you love someone/something, learn to let her/his/them/it go. Because sometimes, our happiness is when he/she is happy. Allah has better preparations for you. Sabar ye.

p/s Walaupun aku rasa nak hentak je kepala orang tu bila aku marah dan kecewa, aku hanya mampu melihat dalam diam menyimpan amarah terpendam. Nak pandang pun tak lalu.

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