conflict.
Two months almost passed by. Still, I'm wondering whether I can cope with this situation of not. And this one song keep playing in my head, Still Into You by Paramore.
The one should be forgiven, I had just forgotten it. I would never want to look back. Looking back if only I had the chance to make it right. This is absolute feeling of insecure, when I can't accept anything wrong with me. I'm back to a paranoia, whom I supposed to leave long ago. The only thing matters me today is, an identity conflict.
Identity conflict.
This inner conflict that keeps haunting me day and night. People say this and that about you, that sometimes you can't really accept about how they describe you and how they might look at you. Believe it or not, that's really happening to me right here, now.
Sometimes, it annoys me very much when I asked someone's close to me to describe me about myself. How do I act, an overview of my characteristics or to be exact, my personality. Some people told me that how to look at yourself is by asking someone's close or who knows you better. They told me this and that, and sometimes it appear to be the opposite side of myself as how I thought myself was. I don't think so that I'm this and that.
Sometimes, I thought that I know myself better than others. So just shut up and proceed with your work.
Just because when people look at me like that, they're just telling me to become like what they told me. It's not a description about myself, but just their hope, that they want me to become like what they told me as my character. And that is taken aback. I can't take it for long.
That I have to choose to become myself as who I am, that I feel a lot more comfortable without others' opinion or becoming someone that how they want me to be like, which requires my great effort to take it seriously. I am, and I would prefer to become like how I am today. And feel comfortable with it.
Normal living with mistakes all around. Torturing and intriguing.
Being a troublemaker is awesome, that one's will play around with troubles that trap her with another great troubles ahead. That she cope the troubles well, cause she learn a lot from the mistakes. It's interesting about how life is. Ain't it great?
Till then, Assalamualaikum :)
The one should be forgiven, I had just forgotten it. I would never want to look back. Looking back if only I had the chance to make it right. This is absolute feeling of insecure, when I can't accept anything wrong with me. I'm back to a paranoia, whom I supposed to leave long ago. The only thing matters me today is, an identity conflict.
Identity conflict.
This inner conflict that keeps haunting me day and night. People say this and that about you, that sometimes you can't really accept about how they describe you and how they might look at you. Believe it or not, that's really happening to me right here, now.
Sometimes, it annoys me very much when I asked someone's close to me to describe me about myself. How do I act, an overview of my characteristics or to be exact, my personality. Some people told me that how to look at yourself is by asking someone's close or who knows you better. They told me this and that, and sometimes it appear to be the opposite side of myself as how I thought myself was. I don't think so that I'm this and that.
Sometimes, I thought that I know myself better than others. So just shut up and proceed with your work.
Just because when people look at me like that, they're just telling me to become like what they told me. It's not a description about myself, but just their hope, that they want me to become like what they told me as my character. And that is taken aback. I can't take it for long.
That I have to choose to become myself as who I am, that I feel a lot more comfortable without others' opinion or becoming someone that how they want me to be like, which requires my great effort to take it seriously. I am, and I would prefer to become like how I am today. And feel comfortable with it.
Normal living with mistakes all around. Torturing and intriguing.
Being a troublemaker is awesome, that one's will play around with troubles that trap her with another great troubles ahead. That she cope the troubles well, cause she learn a lot from the mistakes. It's interesting about how life is. Ain't it great?
Till then, Assalamualaikum :)
