That's too much!
Assalamualaikum and what a peaceful morning peeps!
So I've been taking my time to post this since I was extremely busy with scheduled events, viva assessments, my logbook requirements and some other interesting people to deal with.
Last weekend, I was officialy announced as the President/Yang Di-Pertua of Medical Science Society. It was an official inauguration done during our Annual Grand Meeting and Dinner. There, I'm now the first ever female president of the great society history, comprising 600 members of all USM's medical student. That was the most anticipating moment of nervousness and I broke down into tears during the after event. I'm getting the soft spots and the spotlights, which I tried to avoid last time. In the mean time, I'm still trying to fit in and make myself secured. So that's it.
Now let me tell you the 1st obstacle - I think I'm still traumatized by this. It happened yesterday.
(Might have to anticipate some rojak here 😅)
My intention was to help my colleague here to deal with a person who refuse to pay for an annual fee of a society, for as much as RM 5. Failure to contribute, then you can be banned from any events held by the society and it was stated in the legal Perlembagaan Persatuan. The only society with legal perlembagaan after MPP. We just finished a seminar and I started to approach him like, I smiled and asked him nicely. Yes, a guy and I would name him P. He's some sort of having an unsolved relationship matter with the colleague of mine. So my colleague named S told me about P's refusal and with my concern, I want to help since I haven't been in any bad terms with P (in my knowledge).
"P, kau okay tak? Aku nak cakap sikit ni" I smiled, with a concern voice. He laughed.
"Apa dia?"
"P, pasal yuran m*****. Kau boleh bayar tak?" Because dealing with him were never easy. Instead of provoking him to pay, I gave him options. I don't want him to feel pressured due to his temper. He flared his nose and..
"Aku taknak bayar. Ada masalah? Aku takkan bayar la weh!" He just raised his voice to me, holding a fist and hit a table next to me. I nodded and trying to acknowledge his strong refusal. Now, next.
"P, kenapa taknak bayar? Ada spesifik sebab kenapa.."
"Aku benci hicom. Aku BENCI! SAMPAI MATI AKU BENCI! SEKALI AKU BENCI, SAMPAI MATI AKU BENCI!!" His pupils were shaking. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to take it good, in a good condition where I have to open my heart for this kind of situation.
"Okay, it's fine. I see that kau dah bayar yuran MIVG for RM 50 tu. And I don't want to ban you from going there with this unsettled yuran persatuan, maybe I can help with.."
"AKU TAKKAN BAYAR! PEGI MAMPUS AH" he stood up in anger and hit the table again with his fight with a moderate strength.
The corner of my mouth was straightened. I nodded again and told myself, okay, it's fine. I'll pay for him anyway, the 5 ringgit. It's fine. S was sitting next to me, asking me why and what happened. I know she's scared of him somehow.
Our conversation was interrupted as we had an adhoc discussion on our coming CFCS project in Pasir Mas. So yeah, I paid attention to the discussion till the end. From the edge of my eyes, I saw him standing next to me and was waiting for me eagerly. He's anxious, had he moved back and forth, grabbing his hair, fisting and chesting, I shut my eyes, the coal's burning. I probably need a mind-splitting or soul-splitting jitsu to separate myself into 2. Haha. Yes, the conversation hasn't ended and he just can't stand to control his anger. My hands were shaking a bit but my focus was still on the discussion again. Cool, be cool. I told myself. I had some discussion with Rebecca and Syu, followed by Theva and Rasya, he's still grabbing his hair, trying to vent his anger, back and forth 5 feets away from me.
"Weh Mira, aku nak kau bagitau dekat orang yang nak sangat duit aku tu, DATANG JUMPA AKU SENDIRI, MINTAK. B**** LA AKU BENCI SAMPAI MATI! TAK PAYAH NAK SURUH ORANG JUMPA AKU MAIN PASS SURUH AKU BAYAR. AKU TAKKAN BAYAR. KAU PESAN DEKAT PEREMPUAN J***** TU TAK PAYAH NAK BLOCK AKU DEKAT SEMUA SOC MED B**** S***" After pointing his fingers and that big fist to me, he slammed the table, the wall and the door. Leaving the discussion room and slammed the door. The entire room was in silent, everybody in the room were shocked and paused. The guys in the room were all silent, and so the girls. It felt like the time just stopped and I was in my own time loop. The 10 of us in the room were not looking at the incident, It was loud enough and I was about to burst my anger at him but I held back. I was sitting then, I shut my eyes. Inhaling some peace for 3 seconds and exhaled heavily. I nodded thrice, I knew my fight won't change a thing on this super hot-tempered and short-tempered guy. He's insane! I continued the discussion with Rebecca, not to flashback on the situation I was in just 3 seconds ago. If I can carut, I'll just spit it to his face. Lucky you, bro.
I said, "Let's continue the discussion". Then, P went in again and cursed. It was too loud, I don't remember the things he said and my mind was scattered. I just nodded. He kicked the walls, punch the table and walls again. Another curses heard. I believed that he intentionally trying to warn S, who was discussing things with Danish next to him. The relayed warnings and threats were heard by everybody in the room. He slammed the door hardly. I won't stand up, because I refused to. My chest felt so tight and it hurts. My hands were shaking out of anger and fright. Yes, I was scared but I can't tell anybody how scared I was. I breathed hardly and Nik said again "let's continue" and I did. I remembered where the discussion paused due to the drama. Rebecca held my hands and asked
whether I'm fine. I nodded and I said I'm fine, but I'm shook. We finished the discussion properly and fellow friends in the room approached me and checking my condition. I'm fine. I'm just shaking and still shaking. She looked at me and, "Reb, I'm fine with this. Let's move on".
Should I report him to Psychiatry Department? He should be referred for mental clinic. He's having a mental health issue and should I just get him referred to our doctor?
I didn't questioned why nobody dares to face him and stop him, because he's unstoppable. Nobody has ever stopped him from that. I hope S won't run away from him. Face him bravely and speak to him. His grudge has never ended. I told S that you should be grateful to end your relationship with that mad guy. God saved you from being in a long term relationship with an abusive partner. My positivity was running in my veins, I just empathized him and he needed help. Thank God, Alhamdulillah with this little strength I had at that moment the silence was broken into a fearful situation. He needed guide and for this, let's pray that he will realize this and improvise to his better self.
I came to think that, I had encountered this many times in my secondary school. It was among girls and seniors, who had a bit grudges and the just for fun trend to gain popularity among the seniors, they tortured and bullied the juniors, regardless of your pose. A prefect? I still get bullied, because of their grudges. I reported them for many times, for sneaking out of the dorm in the weekends, their mobile phones usage and my stubbornness for standing up for my colleagues. They even stopped me from going back to my dorm by blocking all the maim routes that I still managed to find another route to reach my dorm. They will all gather in my dorm and looking at me in anger and in jealousy (?) perhaps. I never mind them and just go to sleep. Finished school, I bumped into them and she said sorry for whatever she did wrong to me. It's the youngblood and the hot-blooded nature, where you always want the attention and the hormones, that makes you grow up. Some just like to rebel, some just like to play-safe and some just love to go with the flow. After all, we all come back in 1 piece.
P/s: please, choose your partner wisely. I hope we'll all get married to someone who would keep us safe like how our father treat us and care for us.
Peace ✌🏻
So I've been taking my time to post this since I was extremely busy with scheduled events, viva assessments, my logbook requirements and some other interesting people to deal with.
Last weekend, I was officialy announced as the President/Yang Di-Pertua of Medical Science Society. It was an official inauguration done during our Annual Grand Meeting and Dinner. There, I'm now the first ever female president of the great society history, comprising 600 members of all USM's medical student. That was the most anticipating moment of nervousness and I broke down into tears during the after event. I'm getting the soft spots and the spotlights, which I tried to avoid last time. In the mean time, I'm still trying to fit in and make myself secured. So that's it.
Now let me tell you the 1st obstacle - I think I'm still traumatized by this. It happened yesterday.
(Might have to anticipate some rojak here 😅)
My intention was to help my colleague here to deal with a person who refuse to pay for an annual fee of a society, for as much as RM 5. Failure to contribute, then you can be banned from any events held by the society and it was stated in the legal Perlembagaan Persatuan. The only society with legal perlembagaan after MPP. We just finished a seminar and I started to approach him like, I smiled and asked him nicely. Yes, a guy and I would name him P. He's some sort of having an unsolved relationship matter with the colleague of mine. So my colleague named S told me about P's refusal and with my concern, I want to help since I haven't been in any bad terms with P (in my knowledge).
"P, kau okay tak? Aku nak cakap sikit ni" I smiled, with a concern voice. He laughed.
"Apa dia?"
"P, pasal yuran m*****. Kau boleh bayar tak?" Because dealing with him were never easy. Instead of provoking him to pay, I gave him options. I don't want him to feel pressured due to his temper. He flared his nose and..
"Aku taknak bayar. Ada masalah? Aku takkan bayar la weh!" He just raised his voice to me, holding a fist and hit a table next to me. I nodded and trying to acknowledge his strong refusal. Now, next.
"P, kenapa taknak bayar? Ada spesifik sebab kenapa.."
"Aku benci hicom. Aku BENCI! SAMPAI MATI AKU BENCI! SEKALI AKU BENCI, SAMPAI MATI AKU BENCI!!" His pupils were shaking. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to take it good, in a good condition where I have to open my heart for this kind of situation.
"Okay, it's fine. I see that kau dah bayar yuran MIVG for RM 50 tu. And I don't want to ban you from going there with this unsettled yuran persatuan, maybe I can help with.."
"AKU TAKKAN BAYAR! PEGI MAMPUS AH" he stood up in anger and hit the table again with his fight with a moderate strength.
The corner of my mouth was straightened. I nodded again and told myself, okay, it's fine. I'll pay for him anyway, the 5 ringgit. It's fine. S was sitting next to me, asking me why and what happened. I know she's scared of him somehow.
Our conversation was interrupted as we had an adhoc discussion on our coming CFCS project in Pasir Mas. So yeah, I paid attention to the discussion till the end. From the edge of my eyes, I saw him standing next to me and was waiting for me eagerly. He's anxious, had he moved back and forth, grabbing his hair, fisting and chesting, I shut my eyes, the coal's burning. I probably need a mind-splitting or soul-splitting jitsu to separate myself into 2. Haha. Yes, the conversation hasn't ended and he just can't stand to control his anger. My hands were shaking a bit but my focus was still on the discussion again. Cool, be cool. I told myself. I had some discussion with Rebecca and Syu, followed by Theva and Rasya, he's still grabbing his hair, trying to vent his anger, back and forth 5 feets away from me.
"Weh Mira, aku nak kau bagitau dekat orang yang nak sangat duit aku tu, DATANG JUMPA AKU SENDIRI, MINTAK. B**** LA AKU BENCI SAMPAI MATI! TAK PAYAH NAK SURUH ORANG JUMPA AKU MAIN PASS SURUH AKU BAYAR. AKU TAKKAN BAYAR. KAU PESAN DEKAT PEREMPUAN J***** TU TAK PAYAH NAK BLOCK AKU DEKAT SEMUA SOC MED B**** S***" After pointing his fingers and that big fist to me, he slammed the table, the wall and the door. Leaving the discussion room and slammed the door. The entire room was in silent, everybody in the room were shocked and paused. The guys in the room were all silent, and so the girls. It felt like the time just stopped and I was in my own time loop. The 10 of us in the room were not looking at the incident, It was loud enough and I was about to burst my anger at him but I held back. I was sitting then, I shut my eyes. Inhaling some peace for 3 seconds and exhaled heavily. I nodded thrice, I knew my fight won't change a thing on this super hot-tempered and short-tempered guy. He's insane! I continued the discussion with Rebecca, not to flashback on the situation I was in just 3 seconds ago. If I can carut, I'll just spit it to his face. Lucky you, bro.
I said, "Let's continue the discussion". Then, P went in again and cursed. It was too loud, I don't remember the things he said and my mind was scattered. I just nodded. He kicked the walls, punch the table and walls again. Another curses heard. I believed that he intentionally trying to warn S, who was discussing things with Danish next to him. The relayed warnings and threats were heard by everybody in the room. He slammed the door hardly. I won't stand up, because I refused to. My chest felt so tight and it hurts. My hands were shaking out of anger and fright. Yes, I was scared but I can't tell anybody how scared I was. I breathed hardly and Nik said again "let's continue" and I did. I remembered where the discussion paused due to the drama. Rebecca held my hands and asked
whether I'm fine. I nodded and I said I'm fine, but I'm shook. We finished the discussion properly and fellow friends in the room approached me and checking my condition. I'm fine. I'm just shaking and still shaking. She looked at me and, "Reb, I'm fine with this. Let's move on".
Should I report him to Psychiatry Department? He should be referred for mental clinic. He's having a mental health issue and should I just get him referred to our doctor?
I didn't questioned why nobody dares to face him and stop him, because he's unstoppable. Nobody has ever stopped him from that. I hope S won't run away from him. Face him bravely and speak to him. His grudge has never ended. I told S that you should be grateful to end your relationship with that mad guy. God saved you from being in a long term relationship with an abusive partner. My positivity was running in my veins, I just empathized him and he needed help. Thank God, Alhamdulillah with this little strength I had at that moment the silence was broken into a fearful situation. He needed guide and for this, let's pray that he will realize this and improvise to his better self.
I came to think that, I had encountered this many times in my secondary school. It was among girls and seniors, who had a bit grudges and the just for fun trend to gain popularity among the seniors, they tortured and bullied the juniors, regardless of your pose. A prefect? I still get bullied, because of their grudges. I reported them for many times, for sneaking out of the dorm in the weekends, their mobile phones usage and my stubbornness for standing up for my colleagues. They even stopped me from going back to my dorm by blocking all the maim routes that I still managed to find another route to reach my dorm. They will all gather in my dorm and looking at me in anger and in jealousy (?) perhaps. I never mind them and just go to sleep. Finished school, I bumped into them and she said sorry for whatever she did wrong to me. It's the youngblood and the hot-blooded nature, where you always want the attention and the hormones, that makes you grow up. Some just like to rebel, some just like to play-safe and some just love to go with the flow. After all, we all come back in 1 piece.
P/s: please, choose your partner wisely. I hope we'll all get married to someone who would keep us safe like how our father treat us and care for us.
Peace ✌🏻
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