introducing me :)

Nobody’s perfect. And, I’m no perfectionist.

epic. buayak mau makan kitak!

ain't it cool?

Here, she’s my lovely girlfriend ^^ Marjana Darus. I love to share most of my exciting, lame stories and brilliant opinions. She’ll listen to me even she’s reading the Malay novels so hard at that time. We share our best moments together, spending our leisure time together with laughs and chats. She’s the shoulder for my backpack, sometimes. She’d once be there, to play the piano for me whenever I feel bad and hard. Avril Lavigne’s When You’re Gone was preferred. We would sing together throughout the music, and sadly, I’ll cry. Opss. Haha.

My lovely girlfriend, she’s my dearest cousin. The best cousin ever, yeah! We share the same interest sometimes. Sometimes. We love to chat, tease and make fun of other people. The interesting part is, I’m worse than her. Anyway, she used to call me Mir. Nice J Yes. She’s nice.

“Kau ni kartun sangatlah, Mir. Cuba serious sikit,”

That’s normal, whenever I come out with some silly ideas and unbelievable acts. Yes. I’m playful, moreover, play-fool. Still, being me is very enjoyable. Even though I can’t create jokes that would make people laughing sampai guling-guling sebab I get clueless easily. Jiwa kosong. Hehs. Till one time, my ustazah cakap aku ni ‘hati kering’. Why?

There is one moment in our class, ustazah masuk untuk bagi pengisian rohani tentang pentingnya memahami sesuatu kefahaman.

“ Andai kata saya nyalakan sebatang lilin dan saya minta awak letakkan jari awak atas api yang menyala itu, apa yang jadi pada jari awak atau apa yang awak rasa? ”

Aku jawab,

“ Jari saya terbakar dan jadi hitam ”

While the rest of the people said,

“ Sakit ”, “ Pedih ”, “ Melecur ” and so on.

Ustazah stare aku dan cakap,

“ Awak ni Eighth Wonder of the World. Saya susah nak jumpa orang unik macam awak ni. Serious. Pelik. Hati kering la awak ni ”

Aku gelak sebab tak faham. So do the rest of my classmates pun gelak la. Nampak muka ustazah macam amazed sangat, but I’m puzzled. Tak faham.

After a few days, then I realized why. The key words are ‘apa yang jadi’ and ‘apa yang awak rasa’. Apa yang jadi refers to what condition or what can be observed. Apa yang awak rasa refers to what do you feel. Rasa. Normally, people would see it through feeling. But I’m not. I didn’t at the moment she asked the simple but tricky question. Well I guess that she can read my mind. Amazing.

So here, the conclusion is, I can’t understand people better especially the feeling-related matters. For an example, I know she’s hurt by my harsh words, but I’ll just let it be. Sukahati la, whatever la. I won’t be the one who would say sorry at the very first place. I can’t speak the sorry as a serious matter, in a good way. But I’ll write ‘SORRY’ on a piece of paper or a stick-on note and give it to the one who hurt by my acts and words. I know that the real winner is the one who dare to lose, but I can’t.

There’re times that my close friends cried because of me, my words especially. I don’t seem to really care about others feeling. But I do, I care. Just that I don’t know how to react and express the way it should be. Then, let the bygone be bygone. I won’t care anymore. It’s like running away is the best solution. I guess I need to soften my words. Then, I’ll drink cups of softener lah macam tu. Some people tell me that I’m egoistic. Ego? I’m not sure.

Till then, bye J I have a great day today with the chemistry project - -“